


Take (Almost) All of Me

by orphan_account



Category: due South
Genre: Anal Play, F/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-02
Updated: 2012-07-02
Packaged: 2017-11-09 00:30:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/449225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scene from a marriage.  Ray wanted Stella to know (almost) every part of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take (Almost) All of Me

Maybe he wanted this so much because, deep down, Ray knew their relationship was founded on a lie. Stella’s belief that his actions in the bank, now well over a decade in the past, were heroic and deliberate rather than cowardly and involuntary, her buying into his whole Steve McQueen act…all lies. But he never lied about loving her. Keeping secrets, though, he didn’t like that part at all. But he knew of something he could give her, something he would never give anyone else.

“I want you to know every part of me,” he told her one night while they lay on their bed. He held her small, delicate hand in his, kissing her fingers. “I’ve been inside you,” he tried to explain further, taking a moment to suck her fingers into his mouth, his own hand easily encircling her wrist as he pulled her hand in and out of his mouth rhythmically. She gasped sweetly as she realized what he was driving at. “I want you to be inside me. Like that.”

Stella shifted against the bed, hips rising and falling briefly. It was an involuntary motion Ray had grown to love, because it meant she was ready for him. “Tonight?” she asked, her voice softly low and intimate. Ray knew that if he gave her too much time to think about it, she’d give herself a chance to get hesitant and freaked out, and Stella knew the same thing about herself. So she usually followed with little hesitation when he got sexually adventurous.

“Tonight,” Ray confirmed. He’d cleaned himself up special, surprised at how…pure and light he’d felt once he’d completed the process (which, in itself, was not especially pleasant but not nearly as gruesome as he’d feared).

Stella pulled his face to hers for a kiss that combined affection, understanding and compassion in one incendiary act. Ray kissed her back, but forced himself to be tentative, to let her take the lead. He wanted, more than anything, to convey submission to her. Not to treat her as his bitch goddess, of course (although that was a thought worth further exploration), not to be her slave, but to make sure she understood that any physical advantage he might have over her: height, weight, muscularity, was completely under her control.

Stella put her hands on either side of his face. “You sure about this?” He nodded. He wanted to tell her, to explain further, but he knew he’d just stumble over the words. “We’ll need…things,” Stella said, uncharacteristically hesitant.

“I have things,” he said. “I, um, sort of prepared myself for this.” Stella quirked an eyebrow at him, and he knew he was in danger of ruining the mood. “Hey, _Our Bodies, Ourselves _has tips guys can use, too,” he said. She laughed gently.__

“I guess it does.”

Ray pulled himself away from her, pulled out the nightstand drawer. Wordlessly, he set the things he had collected out for her perusal.

“Lube, of course,” Stella said. “Brand new bottle, no less.”

“Hey, new activity, new supplies,” he said. A little levity wouldn’t kill them.

“Did you actually steal evidence gloves?” Stella held up the latex gloves, giving him one of her complicated looks.

Ray blushed. “I swiped them from the emergency room when….Well, that’s not important. I, um, well, things should not get all…I shouldn’t get all unsexy on you, but I thought you might like a little extra. Cleanliness, you know?”

Stella examined her own hands carefully. “I’m more concerned about you,” she said, and he melted a little. “But…look, no hangnails, just got a short manicure, so….” Of course Ray knew that; that was why he had picked a Sunday night for this.

She put her hands in his again, and he enjoyed checking them over carefully. “I’m good with bare if you’re good with bare,” he told her, trying to keep his voice steady. He hadn’t been sure where she’d land on the glove issue; he was good either way.

“Bare,” she said decisively, and he was surprised by his full-body shudder at the word. “You wanted me to be inside you, and I’d like that too, but without barriers.”

“God, Stella,” he whispered reverently. “I love you so much.”

“I know,” she said and actually winked at him before pulling him down for a kiss. When she pulled away from him again, it was to pick up something else he’d acquired. She grinned at him. “Did you raid every health care facility for this? Because the last time I saw one of these was at the dentist’s office.”

Again, Ray blushed. “Yeah, well, not that I thought you would actually do _that _, you know, with your mouth, but if you wanted to, I thought maybe you’d prefer a…barrier.”__

“No barriers,” Stella told him. “Not between us.” He blushed again, thinking of the things he would never tell her. About the bank. About Steve McQueen and how sometimes he hadn’t wanted just to be _like _him but maybe even be _with _him. But Steve McQueen was dead and he was pretty sure those queer feelings he’d had about a movie star he’d never meet died with him.____

Stella kissed him again, banishing all thoughts of anyone but her. The only person he’d ever had sex with, _made love _to, and the only person he ever would. Her kiss reinforced his feelings, and excited him because now she was definitely in control, fucking his tongue with her mouth. The tenderness they’d started off with was burning off as she got more and more into the whole idea of what he’d asked her for. She was pulling at his hair, and he moaned at the painpleasuregoodhotwant of it. That was how she pulled at his hair when he was between her thighs, especially when he was licking and biting at her with ferocious intensity. Usually, he was more worshipful, and she in turn simply patted his head and stroked his hair. But this hair pulling was what he got during wilder times, and his dick liked the reminder.__  
She pushed his face away from hers, and he whimpered at the loss of contact. “Roll over,” she said, her voice rough with sex and want and maybe even need. Ray did as he was bid, and Stella began licking, kissing and even nipping her way down his back. When she reached middle of the center ridgeline of his spine, Ray couldn’t stop himself from rubbing against the sheet. He loved what she was doing, loved what she was about to do. Loved her.

She smacked his ass, not a hard blow, but a stinging slap. “None of that,” she told him sternly. “Get up on your hands and knees if you have to.”

He had to; he wanted to last for her. She rewarded him by continuing her journey, while her hands smoothed at his sides. As if she wanted to stoke his lust and calm him at the same time. Exactly the combination he needed. He wanted this from her, wanted it so much, but he was nervous, knew it would probably hurt physically in addition to the mental cost of letting her in like this.

Finally she got to the top of the cleft of his ass. She took an experimental lick, then paused.

“Is it okay?” he asked anxiously. He hadn’t meant to keep a running commentary on his insecurities about what they were doing, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself either. Even though, to him, the question sounded needy and desperate, as if he was asking “am _I _okay?” Because every day he asked that question, usually not out loud, and some days he wasn’t sure of the answer.__

“It’s fine,” she said, and Ray actually laughed a little. She still sounded turned on, but also a little put out by the interruption. “You taste…clean,” she told him. “But also salty.” She paused, then licked again, letting her tongue go deeper and lower. “Like you,” she said thoughtfully.

Ray shivered as she continued exploring. She was accepting him, which was not only emotionally reassuring but, surprisingly to him, sexy as fuck. Beyond that, her tongue felt so good back there.

“God, _Stella _,” he breathed as she reached his asshole. His cock was starting to leak. She pointed her tongue and stabbed it into him while he spread his legs to accommodate her, to let her in as much as he could. She took a moment to swirl her tongue completely around, licking at the space behind his balls. “Touch me, please, Stella?” Ray begged, and she obliged, her soft hand cupping at his balls while she plunged her tongue inside him again. Ray groaned.__

“You ready?” she asked. Ray made an incoherent noise Stella correctly interpreted as permission, and distantly over the roaring in his ears, he heard her pop open the lube. “Don’t worry,” she cooed. “I’ll use twice as much as I think I need.”

Ray braced himself on his forearms, ready for the first finger. She slid her now-slick forefinger from his balls up to the top of his cleft and down again, then suddenly pushed it inside him. 

Ray yelped. “You good?” Stella asked, keeping her finger still inside him, buried only to the second knuckle.

Ray tried to gather his thoughts together. “Yeah, that was definitely supposed to be a good sound,” he told her. She gently rotated her finger minutely inside him. So far she hadn’t done anything more than he’d gotten from doctors, in fact she was doing a great deal less, but she wasn’t a doctor. She was his wife, his best friend, his partner.

“I’m going to try another one,” she warned him, and suddenly he was twice as full of her. This time he managed to turn his yelp into a moan. She got bolder, twisting her fingers in him, going deeper and deeper until she hit that spot. The one the doctors always wanted to check.

But this was nothing like that. Nothing like anything he’d felt. When the woman he loved was exploring his body, that spot wasn’t just a checklist on an exam. It was hardwired to his dick, which leapt accordingly. “Oh, god, Stella, again,” he said.

Stella did it again, adding a third finger. It felt good, terrifyingly so, but almost too much. Stella was moving those three fingers around, seeking and finding that spot erratically. He could feel her smallest finger and her thumb brushing against the skin of his ass.

“I can’t take much more,” he warned her. He wanted to be more detailed, to explain that he was already close to bursting from the pressure of her three fingers, that more would be too much….He wasn’t sure. Too much pain? Too much fullness? Too much of himself given over to her? Too much pleasure? “Just…too much,” he ended up telling her.

“That’s good, Ray, you're good” she said, smoothing her free hand over his back. “This is so good; you’re so tight and hot. I’m… _inside _you,” she said, wonderingly, and he knew she finally understood why he had asked her for this, felt the connection he had wanted to find, had hoped she would find.__

“It’s good, Stella,” he slurred, feeling drunk from the pleasure, the closeness. “So good.”

“Can you come from this?” Stella’s voice was quiet, intense. “Just from this?” She twisted her fingers yet again, hitting that spot, making his cock weep for her.

Ray dug deep inside himself. Concentrated only on where their bodies were joined. He wanted so much to come on her fingers, just from her fingers, but he didn’t think he could. His mind gave him images; he wanted to see this, see where they were joined the way she could, wanted to see the look on her face, wanted her to see the expression on his, because he could feel that he was more open, more vulnerable than he’d ever been with her. But this time (and, oh, God, did he hope there would be a second time) he knew he had to stay where he was.

“No,” he finally said. “Do you think you could…?”

And he’d been hoping she’d reach for his cock, which she did, but he hadn’t expected her to stretch over his back, fingers still in place. She kept most of her weight on her knees, but he could feel the softness of her skin on his, the rub of her nipples on the skin of this back as she carefully stroked him.

“Gotta come,” he gasped, rocking back onto her fingers, then forward into her hand. “Can’t stop it,” he said, needing her to understand how much she was doing for him, how deeply she was touching him on every level.

“Do it, Ray,” she commanded softly. “Come for me.”

And his mind went white, his pleasure expanding to encompass the universe, then contracting until the universe was nothing but her fingers inside his ass, her hand on his cock. He knew he made a lot of noises, mostly incomprehensible, but he was hopeful that he managed, “I love you, God, Stella, _I love you _,” at the very least.__

He knew, though, as he started to slump and she guided them both onto their sides, that even if he hadn’t managed to say the words out loud, she had heard him. Because she understood him, _knew _him like nobody else ever had or ever would. If he could just get his thoughts and his words together, he would tell her the truth about the bank, even the truth about Steve McQueen, and she would understand even that.__

But the words weren’t coming to him, nothing was coming to him. He couldn’t even help her as she took the hand she had carefully removed from his cock and placed between his back and her front so she could rock herself back and forth, her fingers presumably curling and stroking the way she liked to touch herself, using his shoulder blade to smother her own cries as she came again and again and again.

He had nothing left to give her for now; she already had it. He would tell her the rest, the last of his secrets, in the morning. Or so he promised himself as he drifted to sleep while his wife continued to rock against him, giving herself climax upon climax.


End file.
